Chapter 14. Contradictory Transformations
নবদ্বীপ-দর্শনে বৃন্দাবন-দর্শন
navadvipa-darsane vrndavana-darsana
Seeing Vrndavan by seeing Nabadwip
ভাইরে
বৃন্দাবনে যাওয়া আর হলো না ॥১॥
bhāi-re
vṛndāvane yāoyā āra halo nā [1]
bhai-re–O brother, ara yaoya halo na–I could not continue vrndavane–to Vrndavan. [1]
Translation:
O brother, I could not continue to Vrndavan.
গোরামুখ না দেখিয়া গোরারূপ ধেয়াইয়া
পথ ভুলি’ যাই অন্য দেশ ।
সেখান হইতে ফিরি’ পুনঃ যাই ধীরি ধীরি
পুনঃ আসি’ দেখি সে প্রদেশ ॥২॥
gorā-mukha nā dekhiyā gorā-rūpa dheyāiyā
patha bhuli’ yāi anya deśa
sekhāna ha-ite phiri’ punaḥ yāi dhīri dhīri
punaḥ āsi’ dekhi se pradeśa [2]
dekhiya na–I had not seen gora-mukha–Gora’s face, [and so] dheyaiya–was meditating gora-rupa–on Gora’s form; bhuli’–I lost patha–the way [and] yai–went anya desa–elsewhere. phiri’–Turning around ha-ite–from sekhana–there, yai punah–I went on dhiri dhiri–slowly. [When] punah asi’–I came back, dekhi–I saw se pradesa–the same place. [2]
Translation:
I had not seen Gora’s face and so was meditating on His form; I lost the way and went in the wrong direction. I turned back and slowly went on. When I came back, I saw I was in the same place!
এইরূপে কত দিনে যাব আমি বৃন্দাবনে
না জানি কি হবে দশা মোর ।
বৃক্ষতলে বসি’ বসি’ কাটি আমি অহর্নিশি
কভু মোর নিদ্রা আসে ঘোর ॥৩॥
ei-rūpe kata dine yāba āmi vṛndāvane
nā jāni ki habe daśā mora
vṛkṣa-tale basi’ basi‘ kāṭi āmi ahar-niśi
kabhu mora nidrā āse ghora [3]
ei-rupe–In this way, kata dine–for many days, [I thought,] ami–I yaba–would go vrndavane–to Vrndavan, [but] jani na–I did not know ki–what mora dasa habe–condition would befall me. ami–I kati–passed ahar-nisi–days and nights basi’ basi‘–sitting vrksa-tale–under trees, [and] kabhu–sometimes mora ghora nidra ase–I slept heavily. [3]
Translation:
In this way, for many days I thought I would go to Vrndavan, but I did not know what would become of me. I passed days and nights sitting under trees, and sometimes I slept heavily.
স্বপ্নে বহু দূরে গিয়া সিন্ধুতটে প্রবেশিয়া
দেখি গোরার অপূর্ব্ব নর্ত্তন ।
গদাধর নাচে সঙ্গে ভক্তগণ নাচে রঙ্গে
গায় গীত অমৃত বর্ষণ ॥৪॥
svapne bahu dūre giyā sindhu-taṭe praveśiyā
dekhi gorāra apūrva nartana
gadādhara nāche saṅge bhakta-gaṇa nāche raṅge
gāya gīta amṛta varṣaṇa [4]
svapne–In a dream, giya–I went bahu dure–a long way, pravesiya–arrived sindhu-tate–at the shore of the ocean, [where] dekhi–I saw gorara–Gora’s apurva–wonderful nartana–dancing. gadadhara–Gadadhar nache–danced sange–with [Him]. bhakta-gana–The devotees nache–danced range–joyfully, [and] gaya–they sang gita–songs [that were like] amrta varsana–showers of nectar. [4]
Translation:
In a dream, I walked a long way and arrived at the shore of the ocean, where I saw Gora’s wonderful dancing. Gadadhar and the devotees joyfully danced with Him, and they sang songs that were like showers of nectar.
নৃত্যগীত-অবসানে গোরা মোর হাত টানে
বলে, «তুমি ক্রোধে ছাড়ি’ গেলে ।
আমার কি দোষ বল তব চিত্ত সুচঞ্চল
ব্রজে গেলে আমা হেথা ফেলে ॥৫॥
nṛtya-gīta-avasāne gorā mora hāta ṭāne
bale, «tumi krodhe chhāḍi’ gele
āmāra ki doṣa bala tava chitta suchañchala
vraje gele āmā hethā phele [5]
nrtya-gita-avasane–When they finished dancing and singing, gora–Gora tane–pulled mora–my hata–hand [and] bale–said, «tumi–«You chhadi’ gele–left krodhe–in anger. bala–Tell [Me,] ki–what [was] amara–My dosa–fault? tava–Your chitta–heart [is] suchanchala–so fickle: phele–you left ama–Me hetha–here [and] gele–went vraje–to Vraja! [5]
Translation:
When they finished dancing and singing, Gora took my hand and said, «You left in anger. Tell Me, what was My fault? Your heart is so fickle: you left Me here and went to Vraja!
আইস আলিঙ্গন করি তব বক্ষে বক্ষ ধরি’
ছাঁড়ো মুঞি চিত্তের বিকার ।
মধ্যাহ্নে করিয়া পাক দেহ মোরে অন্ন শাক
ক্ষুন্নিবৃত্তি হউক্ আমার ॥৬॥
āisa āliṅgana kari tava vakṣe vakṣa dhari’
chhā̐ḍo muñi chittera vikāra
madhyāhne kariyā pāka deha more anna śāka
kṣun-nivṛtti ha-uk āmāra [6]
aisa–Come! alingana kari–I will embrace [you]. dhari’–Holding [My] vaksa–chest tava vakse–to your chest, muni–I chha̐do–will give up [My] chittera vikara–anxiety. paka kariya–Cook madhyahne–at midday [and] deha–give more–Me anna–some rice [and] saka–spinach [so that] amara–My ksun-nivrtti ha-uk–hunger will [also] be relieved. [6]
Translation:
«Come! Let Me embrace you, let Me hold your chest to Mine, then My anxiety will go away. Cook at midday and give Me some rice and spinach so that My hunger will also be relieved.
ছাড়িয়া জগদানন্দে মোর মন নিরানন্দে
ভোজনাদি লইল কত দিন ।
কি বুঝিয়া গেলে তুমি দুঃখেতে পড়িনু আমি
জগা মোরে সদা দয়াহীন ॥৭॥
chhāḍiyā jagadānande mora mana nirānande
bhojanādi la-ila kata dina
ki bujhiyā gele tumi duḥkhete paḍinu āmi
jagā more sadā dayā-hīna [7]
jagadanande–O Jagadananda! chhadiya–after [your] leaving, bhojanadi la-ila–I ate, slept, and so on, kata dina–for many days [while] mora–My mana–heart [was] niranande–unhappy. ki bujhiya–With what understanding tumi gele–did you leave [Me]? ami–I padinu–slumped duhkhete–in sadness: jaga–Jaga [is] sada–always daya-hina–merciless more–to Me. [7]
Translation:
«O Jagadananda, after you left, I ate and slept for many days with an unhappy heart. Why did you leave Me? I slumped into sadness: Jaga is always merciless to Me.
শীঘ্র ব্রজ নিরখিয়া আইস তুমি সুখী হঞা
মোরে দেহ শাকান্ন ব্যঞ্জন ।
তবে ত’ বাঁচিব আমি তাতে সুখী হবে তুমি
ক্রোধে মোরে না ছাড কখন» ॥৮॥
śīghra vraja nirakhiyā āisa tumi sukhī hañā
more deha śākānna vyañjana
tabe ta’ vā̐chiba āmi tāte sukhī habe tumi
krodhe more nā chhāḍa kakhana» [8]
sighra–Quickly nirakhiya–see vraja–Vraja, tumi aisa–come back sukhi hana–feeling happy, [and] deha–offer more–Me sakanna–some rice, spinach, [and] vyanjana–vegetables. tabe ta’–Then ami–I va̐chiba–will live, [and] tate–thereby sukhi habe–you will [also] be happy. tumi kakhana chhada na–Never leave more–Me krodhe»–out of anger.» [8]
Translation:
«Quickly see Vraja, come back happy, and offer Me some rice, spinach, and vegetables. Then I will be able to live, and you will also be happy. Never leave Me out of anger again.»
নিদ্রা ভাঙ্গি’ দেখি আমি বহুদূর ব্রজভূমি
নিকটেতে জাহ্নবীপুলিনে ।
আহা! নবদ্বীপধাম নিত্যগৌরলীলাগ্রাম
ব্রজসার অতি সমীচীন ॥৯॥
nidrā bhāṅgi’ dekhi āmi bahu-dūra vraja-bhūmi
nikaṭete jāhnavī-puline
āhā! navadvīpa-dhāma nitya-gaura-līlā-grāma
vraja-sāra ati samīchīna [9]
ami–I nidra bhangi’–suddenly awoke [and] dekhi–saw [that I was] nikatete–near jahnavi-puline–the bank of the Ganges, bahu-dura–far away vraja-bhumi–from the land of Vraja. aha!–Oh! navadvipa-dhama–Nabadwip Dham! nitya-gaura-lila-grama–The eternal abode of Gaura’s Pastimes! ati samichina–The perfect vraja-sara–essence of Vraja! [9]
Translation:
I suddenly awoke and saw that I was on the bank of the Ganges, far away from the land of Vraja. Oh! Nabadwip Dham! The eternal abode of Gaura’s Pastimes! The perfect essence of Vraja!
আনন্দেতে মায়াপুরে প্রবেশিনু অন্তঃপুরে
নমি আমি আইমাতা-পদ ।
গৌরাঙ্গের কথা বলি’ শীঘ্র আইলাম চলি’
দেখি নবদ্বীপ-সুসম্পদ ॥১০॥
ānandete māyāpure praveśinu antaḥpure
nami āmi āi-mātā-pada
gaurāṅgera kathā bali’ śīghra āilāma chali’
dekhi navadvīpa-susampada [10]
anandete–Overjoyed [to be] mayapure–in Mayapur, pravesinu–I entered antahpure–the inner apartment [of the Lord’s house and] nami–bowed ai-mata-pada–at the feet of Mother Sachi. bali’–I spoke gaurangera katha–Gauranga’s message, sighra–quickly chali’ ailama–came out, [and] dekhi–saw navadvipa-susampada–the divine opulence of Nabadwip. [10]
Translation:
Overjoyed to be in Mayapur, I entered the inner apartment of the Lord’s house and bowed at the feet of Mother Ai. I explained what Gauranga had told me, quickly came out, and saw the divine opulence of Nabadwip.
ভাবিলাম বৃন্দাবন করিলাম দরশন
আর কেন যাউ দূর দেশ ।
গৌর দরশন করি’ সব দুঃখ পরিহরি’
ছাড়ি’ দিব বিরহজ-ক্লেশ ॥১১॥
bhāvilāma vṛndāvana karilāma daraśana
āra kena yāu dūra deśa
gaura daraśana kari’ saba duḥkha parihari’
chhāḍi’ diba virahaja-kleśa [11]
bhavilama–I felt [that] darasana karilama–I had seen vrndavana–Vrndavan, [so] ara kena–why again yau–should I go dura desa–to that faraway land? darasana kari’–I will meet gaura–Gaura, parihari’–give up saba–all [my] duhkha–sadness, [and] chhadi’ diba–leave behind virahaja-klesa–the sorrow produced by separation. [11]
Translation:
I felt that I had already seen Vrndavan, so why should I now go to that faraway land? Instead, I will go to meet Gaura, give up all my sadness, and leave behind the sorrow of separation.